"Disghostiation"

Do you feel like a ghost or like part of you stays

In the places you left behind, leaving you dazed?

It’s as if you are stuck as a half of a whole

And when seasons change nothing moves inside your soul.

All Hallow’s Eve, held so dear as a child,

Now makes you feel lonely and sad and beguiled.

You cannot leave the memories haunting your mind

Of Halloween Past, many nights lost in time.

Retreating within what you’ll never regain,

Nothing will bring it back.

Nothing will change.

     "Disghostiation" is about dissociation. It tells the story of a "ghost" who feels lost and forgotten. Despite being a ghost, it still longs to be a part of the world that has left it behind; it still loves those who it cannot be seen by.

     This is the live version of "Carry," a song written for my dearest friend and the third track on "That Sad Summer Album."

     "Taro's River Melody" is a paid commission for my friend @taropng (on Instagram). Taro sent me a clip of their original idea, and from there I was given complete freedom. Thanks to Taro! I loved making this.

     "Living Hell" is the first song I ever released to streaming services. I recorded it just before I went to inpatient to get treated for mental illness. When I returned, my outlook was a little brighter than it had been before I left, but looking back this song was a perfect reflection of what I had been going through.